September 22, 2020

New Senate GOP coronavirus relief proposal lacks direct payment, drops unemployment boost to $300/week

President Trump “held another fake press conference/campaign rally at the White House where he pretended that everything’s great as the coronavirus pandemic continues to rage,” Seth Meyers said on Tuesday’s Late Night. But his “most brazen and infuriating act of reality distortion yesterday came when he tried to con people into thinking he’s an anti-war president. Trump was responding to the furor over The Atlantic‘s bombshell report that he called Americans who died in war ‘losers and suckers’ — which has been confirmed by multiple outlets, including the AP, CNN, and even Fox News, and also by common sense.”

The story “is such a perfect window into the reality-distortion machine on the right,” Meyers said, “because even Fox News — whose own national security reporter, Jennifer Griffin, confirmed the story — has sought to undercut it” to “serve the president’s agenda.”

Yes, Trump held a 45-minute Labor Day press conference “where he launched an attack against leaders of the U.S. military, he launched more insults at Joe Biden, and he even launched something from his nose,” Jimmy Fallon showed at The Tonight Show. “Hey, you know what could have stopped that projectile? A mask.”

Trump also denied “The Atlantic‘s report that Trump called fallen service members ‘losers’ and ‘suckers,'” Fallon said, and “other than the 245 times Trump has actually called someone a ‘loser’ and a ‘sucker’ on Twitter, he’d never say anything like that. That’s right, Trump allegedly made outrageously offensive remarks, so you know what that means: Nothing happens to Trump and Billy Bush gets fired.”

Meanwhile, Trump’s campaign “blew through $800 million in a few months,” Fallon said. “Who’s running his campaign? Trump in the ’80s? In the ’90s? … You can tell Trump’s campaign is running out of money because this weekend they sunk a bunch of boats for the insurance money.” He showed some Saturday’s ill-fated Trump boat rally outside Austin. “Yep, the event’s Facebook page said, ‘Let’s really make a statement.’ Unfortunately that statement was: ‘Help, my boat is sinking!'”

“On Saturday — you may have heard about this — I went to this cool, fun little boat parade in Texas, and sadly my ship sank,” Jimmy Kimmel Live guest host Josh Gad joked. “Her name was the HMS Metaphor, and she will be greatly missed.” Watch him try helping remote learning as Frozen‘s Olaf below. Peter Weber

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