December 3, 2022

WWE Raw Report – Ricochet Unwisely Declines to Join Hurt Business

In the third part of Bleeding Cool’s WWE Monday Night Raw report, Drew McIntyre makes a Watchmen reference, Braun Strowman briefly faces Keith Lee, and Ricochet makes a poor decision. Welcome to Bleeding Cool’s weekly WWE Raw report, where we watch this crap, so you don’t have to.

The official logo for WWE Monday Night Raw. Credit: WWE.
The official logo for WWE Monday Night Raw. Credit: WWE.

WWE Raw Report for October 5, 2020 Part 3

Moments ago, on Monday Night Raw, Aleister Black attacked Kevin Owens. Since, as a WWE viewer, you may have the brain of a goldfish, WWE plays a clip of it.

Charly Caruso talks to Drew McIntyre backstage. She starts to ask him about Randy Orton, but he interrupts. As to Randy’s challenge, every time he sees Randy Orton, he kicks the crap out of him. That’s gonna continue tonight. The answer is yes to the challenge. He’s not locked inside the cell with Randy. Randy is locked in there with him. He’s not sending Randy to Purgatory. He’s sending him straight to hell—my god. Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton at Hell in a Cell will be an Unauthorized Sequel to Watchmen!!!

Burger Kick sponsors a video promoting Braun Strowman. Then Strowman comes to the ring. Then Keith Lee comes to the ring, immediately ruining my mood because he still has that terrible generic new theme song. I’m never letting it go.

Braun Strowman vs. Keith Lee

  • Just two big hosses here, slamming their meat bodies into each other at high velocity.
  • For about 30 seconds—they brawl outside the ring and get counted out.

Strowman got the better of the brawl, and he finishes up by tackling Lee through the ringside barricade. Lee gets back up, though, and wants to brawl with Braun some more. They brawl all the way up the ramp and onto the stage. Lee tosses Strowman into the LED boards, which play a carefully programmed light sequence designed to make it look like they’re broken. Then Lee tackles Strowman off the stage, a devasting one foot into a crash pad. Remember when WWE would have some guys just put a couple of other guys in a dumpster and push it off the stage? No padding. Raw goes to commercials.

We see another Bianca Belaire video package. Once again, the idea is that Bianca is so much better than regular people; it’s obnoxious. We are to believe in this video, she is hanging out with her friends and playing a trivia game at her apartment, and she kicks all their asses, getting all the questions. Do you know what would get Bianca Belaire over more than these cheesy video packages? Letting her wrestle.

Drew Gulak, still in his janitor costume as it the last segment he was in, didn’t happen an hour ago, hides behind a dumpster with the 24/7 championship. R-Truth pops out of a dumpster, and Gulak runs, tripping over a garbage can. Akira Tozawa is in the garbage can. Long story short, they all end up fighting inside a dumpster. We don’t see the fight, just garbage being tossed around. R-Truth emerges victorious. I want to call this a complete waste of time… but I love R-Truth so much. So I’ll just say… maybe consider that doing the same gags week after week for two years will cause those jokes to lose some of their charm. In other words, for godsake, do something else with this title or get rid of it.

Hurt Business comes to the ring ahead of a Raw commercial break. Bobby Lashley and Shelton Benjman are wrestling. MVP is there to have their back. MVP has a mic. He makes an official announcement from the Hurt Business. he wants to clear up the confusion from last week. Apollo Crews, Richochet, and Mustafa Ali didn’t beat Hurt Business. They may sometimes win a match, but they never win a fight. They’re talented young men. So talented that MVP offered them a position in the Hurt Business. But last week wouldn’t have happened without the interference of Retribution, who I guess all have COVID since they’ve been MIA. MVP puts Retribution on notice. It’s Hurt Business that nightmares are made of, not Retribution.

Ricochet and Apollo Crews come out with Mustafa Ali. Mustafa says MVP is making excuses. Being scared of Retribution’s logo isn’t an excuse. They lost. Ricochet says he wants to say something. He knows they have until the end of the night to decide whether they want to join the hurt business, but Ricochet doesn’t want to keep him waiting. He teases for a minute like he might join, then says, “it’s a pass.” They laugh at Hurt Business as if they’re not a trio of jobbers who wouldn’t all be way better off in MVP’s crew.

MVP says they’re gonna get beat down. Ricochet says he doesn’t mind being a jobber. They get in the ring and face off with Hurt Business. MVP tells the ref to ring the bell and orders Lashley to give special attention to Ricochet.

Apollo Crews and Ricochet vs. Bobby Lashley and Shelton Benjamin

  • I get that Crews, Ricochet, and Ali are supposed to be the babyfaces here, but MVP is right about them. They do occasionally win matches but never rise above the lower midcard. They come off as kind of pathetic, which isn’t probably what you want from your babyfaces—just saying.
  • We’ve seen this match about 9,000 times by now. It’s no different than all the other ones.
  • Crews taps out to the Hurt Lock.

As usual, Apollo Crews and his friends look like chumps. They say they’re gonna keep coming back until “you’re tired of us.” Guys. Too late.

Murphy talks to Aalyah Mysterio, who is nineteen years old, backstage. Murphy wants to apologize to Aalyah for what’s happened. She tells him she doesn’t need to apologize to here, but he should be worried about Seth. Is he still considering apologizing to him? Murphy walks away.

Will Murphy apologize to Seth Rollins? We’ll find out after some commercials and in part four of Bleeding Cool’s WWE Raw report.

This post is part of a multi-part series: WWE Raw Report for October 5, 2020.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry’s darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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